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Nex Vita Vicis :: Hogwarts School :: The Grounds :: The Lake :: One is the Loneliest Number... (Open)

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Topic: One is the Loneliest Number... (Open) (Read 92 times)

Lauren Parkinson
Graduate

ET's Tackling Dummy
I LOVE DRAKEY MORE THAN ANYONE EVER!!!!!--Lauren
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I'm not afraid of happy endings....I'm just afraid my life won't end that way.

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One is the Loneliest Number... (Open)
« Thread Started on Sept 30, 2008, 8:52pm »

The time was 1:02 in the morning, and the date was November 8, 1997. A year ago, she spent this day with her family in tense silence, each one of them trying to cheer her up, but none succeeding. Two years ago, she spent the day by having the time of her life in classes and a huge party in the common room later that night, all her friends still alive. Today, she was alone for the first time on her birthday in...well....forever. Lauren Parkinson had never spent November 8th alone. That made her incredibly depressed, but she was used to being alone by now.

When she had come to Hogwarts for the first time, she had been alone in the deepest sense of the word. Few words spoken between her and anyone else, little interaction besides with animals, not letting anyone help her, and not even having the connection with her twin brother, Landon, which she had had since she was born. THAT was the most unnerving part of that time, not having the connection. Without that, she truly was alone.

Landon had been gone for a long time. Wherever he was, she didn't know; her connection with her twin had disappeared. It scared her, terrified her really, because of everything that was going in her life. Tradger and Levi, mainly. Levi came out of the blue, like some god's idea of a cruel joke, dangling her beloved brother in front of her. But somehow or another, Lauren knew Levi wouldn't be staying. She couldn't explain how she knew it; she just did.

Because of the miraculous appearance of her brother, she had to come to Hogwarts. Why? Because, despite everything, despite the fact that she had finally agreed to date Bryce Moss, she was still in love with Tradger. Levi told her that Tradger would die this winter; she was here to try to stop his death and so many others from happening. But what could she do to stop a catastrophe like Levi said would occur? What on earth could anyone possibly do?

Her feet were silent as she walked along the edge of the lake. Water always calmed her, though she never really knew why. There was something refreshing about the element. It could be smooth and peaceful one moment, then wild and passionate the moment the weather turned for the worse. It was honest; it always showed who it really was. And yet, its depths were often deep, dark, and mysterious. What secrets did these shores hold?

Without really thinking about it, she slipped her shoes and socks off, leaving them on a nearby rock and continued her walk around the shore, ignoring the fact that it was absolutely freezing outside. Levi was never really bother by the cold--he would wear a tshirt and a pair of shorts in the middle of an English winter--but Lauren was more normal in that aspect. She DID get cold. The cold was welcome, however. Like the water, it was honest. Being cold physically had one source. The source was clear, no murky, confusing reasons that made her head hurt.

Which it did, very much at the moment. Her head, that was. With everything going on, her emotions were so screwed up. And when her emotions were screwed up, she had trouble thinking in the simplest terms. With her velimency, she could block out this confusion, which she had been doing. But sometimes, like now, it just got too much. Lauren held everything in until she was on the dangerous border between life and death, as to hold too much in was to condemn herself to a life without any more sane thoughts. Without any memory.

But maybe not remembering anything would be nice. A lot of her memories hurt still, even after a year and a half of them happening. It was a downside of being a velimens; one couldn't forget anything, even if they wanted to. Well, unless the forgot it all....But that was irreversible. As her feet started to numb, Lauren smiled. Feeling numb would be a nice feeling right about now.

She paused in her steps and studied her surroundings. Slowly, it dawned on her that the place was familiar...And then she knew why. This is the place where she and Tradger had made love. Her eyes wandered a bit farther up shore, and then her heart literally stopped for a moment. And that was where he had broken up with her, right under that gorgeous tree.

Numb. Yes, she wanted to be numb. Quickly, Lauren slipped off her heavy jacket and school robes until she was only in the white dress shirt which went down to her elbows and the grey underskirt. Her Ravenclaw tie was loosely wrapped around her neck so that the knot part was between her breasts. The cold air had an immediate effect; soon, she was shivering. Her azure eyes glanced at the water, and she began to walk straight towards it. The moment her toe touched the freezing water, Lauren felt her entire body convulse in a spasm, but that didn't stop her from continuing into the water, deeper and deeper.

Finally, she was neck-deep in the water, and she dipped her head underwater just for added effect. For several minutes, she couldn't stop shivering, even in the water. But then her body began to grow numb to it. Not the pleasant numb, but the numb where you couldn't even tell whether your heart was still beating. This was what she wanted, what she needed. Numbness without the fear of dying if she forced her mind to hold it all in.

She glanced on shore, where two of her most treasured possessions lay. One was the necklace Tradger had given to her; the other was a beautiful white/rose gold chain with an exquisite sapphire and diamond pendant. Lauren looked up at where the nearly full moon was shining on that particular spot where her necklace was, causing the sapphire to sparkle and glimmer brightly.

With great effort and determination, Lauren began to swim back towards the shore. Maybe going out into the middle of the lake in freezing weather wasn't the smartest thing. Somehow, she made it to the sandy shore where, months ago, she and Tradger had taken off their clothes. The numbness was starting to get to her, like really get to her, as she lay upon the soft sands. People often compare sand with warmth, but those shores were as cool as anything Lauren had ever touched.

Her hand managed to reach out to where the necklaces were, but instead of reaching for the sapphire pendant, her hand wrapped itself around the simpler hemp necklace before her mind wavered once, and she slowly faded into semi-darkness.

What a great way to start off her birthday.

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Tradger Thomas
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"Loneliness is about the scariest thing there is."-Tradger Thomas

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Re: One is the Loneliest Number... (Open)
« Reply #1 on Sept 30, 2008, 10:40pm »

Usually, a ceiling was simply the thing that separated someone from the floor above them. However, when you had spent the last two weeks worth of nights staring at it, the ceiling becomes more than simply nothing but a separation between floors. It became a whole place full of mesmerizing patterns and amazing detail that you wouldn’t typically notice. And it is at this point, when these thoughts suddenly swam through Tradger Thomas’s troubled mind that he knew he had been laying in bed staring at the ceiling for far too long. He turned over on his side, body stiff and slightly numb from not moving for so long. Tradger examined the calendar on his bedside table. November 8th.

Lauren.

This time last year he was single. But also this time last year he had two best friends, a mom and who he thought was his dad. He was a popular kid who had his whole life ahead of him this time last year. It was funny how so much could change in just one year. Tradger rolled back over onto his back and stared at the ceiling yet again. The ‘What if’s started to roll around in his head. If he had just said ‘I love you’ to Lauren that day instead of breaking up with her, he’d be with her right now. He’d be celebrating her birthday. He’d have a gift for her. He’d have her.

Tradger couldn’t understand. If he had thought Lauren was avoiding him before, it was nothing compared to now. It was almost as if she wasn’t here anymore. Ever since they had kissed…But it wasn’t like she hadn’t wanted to kiss him. She definitely kissed him back. But then her damn conscience had to come into play. Tradger scowled at the thought of Bryce. She went running to him and something must have happened. He must have told her it was alright and manipulated her so that she wouldn’t talk to him anymore. He cringed at the thought.

He closed his hazel eyes. The view of the ceiling was replaced with the back of his eyelids and the image of Lauren just before she ran out. He tried to remember seconds before that, when she had been pressed against him in one of the most passionate kisses they had ever shared. He guessed it was true what they said, ‘distance makes the heart grow fonder’ or some crap like that.

Tradger sighed and pushed himself out of bed. There was no point in simply lying there when he wasn’t going to sleep at all. No matter how much he needed it. He was already dressed, though it was his school uniform from that Friday. His trousers, dress shirt untucked and wrinkled, tie loose and hanging low, and trainers untied. Tradger tied the laces on his trainers and looked outside. He could tell winter was coming as the cool November air came through the old window. Snow would come soon.

Tradger grabbed flannel jacket and pulled it close to him as he walked downstairs to the common room. It was dark, only dimly lit by the light glow of the dying fire. Tradger walked slowly down the stairs. He was Head Boy, he had no curfew. If asked, he was out making sure no one else was prowling the halls late. He pushed the front doors open and was quickly met with the cold air caressing his cheeks. Blood rushed to his face as he tried to keep warm. Tradger was ok with the cold. He had lived in England all his life, he was pretty used to it. But still, who liked to have their nose frozen off?

Since last May, Tradger had completely avoided the lake. Two very important things had happened there that he didn’t want to really remember. Well…maybe one. But the other he preferred not to relive thank you very much. But, that was where Tradger’s chilled legs led him. He walked along the shore, hands stuffed in his pockets when he heard someone moving through the water. Tradger stopped and squinted ahead. He could barely make out their outline, but he knew who it was right away. No other girl was that tall and remained that thin at this school.

Tradger debated with himself on approaching when he saw her no longer moving. Without another thought, Tradger broke off into a sprint. She had been in the water. Why the hell would she do that? It was freezing cold outside! Tradger was at her side in an instant. Lauren was soaking wet and clutching something in her hand. His necklace. Tradger took off his jacket and covered her with it. Her jacket was discarded to the side. He grabbed that as well. With a quick wave of his wand, they were warmed up and two other blankets had been conjured, magically warmed up.

“Lauren? Laur, wake up! Wake up, Laur!”

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Why do I do the things I do?
Was I born this way? Am I a selfmade fool
I shoot the lights and curse the dark
I need your love but I break your heart
And I know the words that'll bring you back
[image]

Lauren Parkinson
Graduate

ET's Tackling Dummy
I LOVE DRAKEY MORE THAN ANYONE EVER!!!!!--Lauren
Velimency[M:0]
member is offline

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I'm not afraid of happy endings....I'm just afraid my life won't end that way.

Joined: Dec 2006
Gender: Female

Posts: 2,497
Location: The wonders of my mind....
Karma: 38

Re: One is the Loneliest Number... (Open)
« Reply #2 on Oct 1, 2008, 11:13pm »

Lauren had never been on drugs, but this was how she imagined it might feel. Wavering on the border of darkness and light, a numbness that canceled out everything, feeling as if she were invincible. Even with her velimency and extreme sense of self-preservation, she wasn't invincible. No one was, nor would anyone ever be. At least, no one real would be. Imaginary heroes, people who became larger than who they were after death; yes, they would obtain the so-called invincibility. People probably called Levi that, come to think of it.

Not that she could actually THINK right now, with the whole "her body and mind were froze" sort of state. Well, to be honest, she could think so, but like mentioned before, it was something she guessed a drug addict would think when on drugs. Swirling, hazy thoughts and feelings that came in and out of focus, coming dangerously close the the fuzzy blackness. For a few moments, she would succumb to the unconscious state, then return to the hazy world, and back and forth. Never did she stay in either for very long. Yes, the numbness was something that canceled out everything bad in her life.

But then someone was there, talking to her, wrapping a jacket around her. Her hand had a death grip--ironic words, perhaps--on his necklace, her fingernails digging into her palm to the point where she knew little marks would stay for quite awhile. Thankfully, Lauren had never been one to keep her nails long like some girl, so they didn't really pierce the skin. Long nails had always been impractical, considering what she did all day at home. Besides, most people payed more attention to her eyes than her nails, anyways.

His voice was like the first sharp knife as the numbness began to break away. Immediately she began to shiver uncontrollably, whereas before, she was merely deathly still. While the numbness wore off, she would feel the icy cold. Once the numbness was gone, she would feel everything a million times worse than she had before. What a nice thing to look forward to.

Lauren had done this before; nearly freezing herself in order to feel numb. But she wasn't used to English weather, nor was she aware that the Black Lake's waters were so much colder than Georgia's warm creeks and ponds. Colder than a lot of other ponds in England itself, come to think of it, as Lauren had been to England multiple times on vacation with her family and business trips with her grandfather. Maybe her mind just let her become numb in a totally different level. Who knew? She didn't.

Tradger spoke her name, and her mind hazily tried to think of what she should do. The idea of speaking came to her slowly, and by the time it did--and it was a few minutes before it did--she had no idea what to say. Her eyelids were closed, so maybe opening them would be a start. Lauren tried, and failed on the first and second attempt, but succeeded for a moment on the third before they closed again. Gesh, was the water made of lead?

"Laurelin....Laurelinet....Laurelinettiusia--," Murmured she absent-mindedly to herself with some difficultly, as her eyelids fluttered for a moment, though they didn't stay open for long, hence the fluttering and not opening. "--is my name," Why she felt that THAT was something she should say at the moment, she really had no clue. Lauren had told Tradger her full name in all it's ridiculousity once, but refused to repeat it because he hadn't stopped laughing for a solid six or seven minutes. Few people could remember a name such as hers, and even fewer could remember the ridiculous full names of everyone else in her family. But Lauren had had to.

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Tradger Thomas
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The Queen of Account NotesI LOVE DRAKEY MORE!!!!!!!
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"Loneliness is about the scariest thing there is."-Tradger Thomas

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,560
Location: In your bed
Karma: 9

Re: One is the Loneliest Number... (Open)
« Reply #3 on Oct 7, 2008, 4:41pm »

Tradger wasn’t sure if the sudden shivering was a good sign compared to her being completely still. He decided that the chills were better. At least he knew she was alive and was somewhat conscious. Tradger raked his hands through his hair. It wasn’t sticking up like usual. In fact, he had let it grow out rather long in the past weeks. He knew that with just one thought he could make it return to its short state, but he didn’t really think about that. It was like the last time he had been so upset about something. When someone like him had other things on their mind or they were deppressed, there was no changing form. So his hair was rather long now, almost reaching his shoulders.

He was still trying to get her to say something, to acknowledge the fact that she could hear him. She couldn’t be so mad at him that she wouldn’t even speak to him when he was trying to save her life, could she? No, Lauren was more logical than that. She would at least say something along the lines of: “Take that box under my bed and ship it to Moracco”. What Lauren would be smuggling to Moracco, he didn’t know.

Finally, she spoke. Tradger rolled his eyes, “That isn’t entirely relevant to the situation now is it?” Only a crazy person would start an argument with someone who was about to freeze to death. Tradger supposed he was crazy. He sighed and looked for something he could use to help her warm up. If he had been in his right mind a good thought might have been: “Hey! How about the hospital wing?!” But no, that was far too simple. Tradger growled softly and looked at the shivering Lauren, “You are a moron, you know that? Swimming when it is below freezing in England! Who does that? Oh that’s right…YOU!”

Despite his angry words Tradger lifted Lauren into his arms—it was entirely too easy—and held her tight to him. After a moment Tradger stood and began to walk quickly towards the castle. He would have levitated her making this trip quicker, but Lauren needed the warmth. Tradger had the hardest time getting up the stairs. Now that the adrenaline was starting to fade Lauren was getting heavier and getting up the stairs seemed daunting.

Finally, Tradger made it to the hospital wing. He shoved his shoulder against the door a few times before it finally opened, the nurse looking at him concearned. “She is freezing. She needs warmth, a pepper up potion, and lots of blankets!” Tradger ordered immediately as he set her down on a bed. The nurse still looked half asleep. Tradger placed himself in a chair and sat, bouncing his knee as he watched Lauren, his eyes light gray with worry.

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Lauren Parkinson
Graduate

ET's Tackling Dummy
I LOVE DRAKEY MORE THAN ANYONE EVER!!!!!--Lauren
Velimency[M:0]
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I'm not afraid of happy endings....I'm just afraid my life won't end that way.

Joined: Dec 2006
Gender: Female

Posts: 2,497
Location: The wonders of my mind....
Karma: 38

Re: One is the Loneliest Number... (Open)
« Reply #4 on Oct 10, 2008, 11:53pm »

She wanted to reply to his statement to let him know that her name was very important; he did not know the reasons for why her entire name was so vital to basically everything in her life, as it was in every ancient pureblood family. But she was just so bloody cold. Why did England have to get so much colder so much faster than it did in Georgia? Well, the answers were obvious in hindsight. Now she probably looked suicidal to Tradger, who had started yelling at her and calling her a moron.

Once again, she wanted to respond, but she couldn't find the will to do so because he picked her up as if she weighed no more than a feather(and perhaps that was true; she hadn't eaten much in a long time) and held her tightly against his chest. If she spoke, he might put her down. Somewhere in her still slightly numb, hazy mind, she didn't want that to happen. She wanted to stay in this position forever, his body like a space heater. Through the layers of whatever he had piled around her and his own clothing, she could faintly feel his heart beating. Lauren gave up the fight to keep her eyes open and let them close; the sound of her own heartbeat sounded more clearly.

The trip to the hospital wing could have taken seconds or hours; she did not know. Lauren was, mentally, in a totally different place than England. She was brought back to Hogwarts by the sound of Tradger's voice ordering the nurse to do as he commanded. It was actually kind of funny. He laid her down in the bed, and she knew she had to stop this before she let the nurse actually examine her or whatever. With some difficultly, she used her velimency to pull the feeling of cold out of her body until she felt somewhat normal. Ironically, it was things like this that made her decide to become numb for a little while in the first place.

"I'm...I'm fine ma'am. Thomas was just overreacting." Came her own voice, though to her, it didn't sound as if it came from her lips. It was a bit hoarse at first, but it quickly regained its strength until she sounded as if nothing had ever happened. Her face was still somewhat pale and blue, but color began to return to her cheeks rapidly once she forced herself to remove the cold from herself. Of course, it wasn't really GONE, but it worked well enough for now. Lauren sat up, and as a few streaks of pain arched up her back, she too removed those to a place where she could carefully feel them one at a time.

Her eyes watched as the nurse studied her for a moment, but not seeing her patient injured at all(Lauren was very good at covering up pain), she shrugged and left the room, heading towards where Lauren knew the office was. She quickly glanced around the room and inwardly sighed; of all the nights at Hogwarts, Tradger had to bring her in here on the night that no one else was here. Great. She turned towards him and waited for the inevitable lecture that would follow.

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Tradger Thomas
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Rebellion Member

Gryffindor Hottie

The Queen of Account NotesI LOVE DRAKEY MORE!!!!!!!
Metamorphagus[M:0]
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"Loneliness is about the scariest thing there is."-Tradger Thomas

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,560
Location: In your bed
Karma: 9

Re: One is the Loneliest Number... (Open)
« Reply #5 on Oct 14, 2008, 6:11pm »

Tradger flinched inwardly at the use of his last name. So they were apparently back to doing that. He glared at Lauren as the nurse looked her over and then headed back to her office, probably to go back to sleep. He was silent for some time, hunched over in his chair simply staring at Lauren trhough narrowed eyes. Oh, the lecture was right there at the tip of his tongue. She looked fine, but he was sure that she wasn’t. Moments ago she had probably not been far from freezing to death. No one got over hypothermia that quickly.

He tilted his head up, looking down his nose at her. His gaze flickered to the office door and he leaned close down to Lauren. “I can not believe you did that!! What on earth drove you to swim in the fucking lake in the middle of the night AND in winter?! I know you are smarter than that Lauren Parkinson. Imagine the hurt your family would feel if you had died! You have already recently lost sisters, cousins, uncles, and a brother! What would your family do if you died? Did you think about anyone when you were doing this? What about…”

He trailed off, frowning. “What about me? If you had died…I don’t…I don’t know what I would have done…” He rakes his hand through his hair and bounces his left knee up and down. “Now let me get you some pepper up potion at least…you looked awful two seconds ago. You can’t hide it forever.”

(((Suuuuucccckkkkkkyyyyyy but there you go))

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Lauren Parkinson
Graduate

ET's Tackling Dummy
I LOVE DRAKEY MORE THAN ANYONE EVER!!!!!--Lauren
Velimency[M:0]
member is offline

[avatar]

I'm not afraid of happy endings....I'm just afraid my life won't end that way.

Joined: Dec 2006
Gender: Female

Posts: 2,497
Location: The wonders of my mind....
Karma: 38

Re: One is the Loneliest Number... (Open)
« Reply #6 on Oct 14, 2008, 9:15pm »

Lauren really wasn't listening to what Tradger said consciously, but she knew she could always rewind her memories and remember exactly how he said something, exactly how he looked at her when he said it. Photographic memory in a very literal, very real way. She did, however, glance at him when he trailed off, for normally that meant he was going to say something important. Her lips thinned in anger and her blue eyes turned cold and sharp. It was a face she hadn't used since she had gotten into that awful fight with her twin brother, Landon, almost exactly a year from this date.

She held her tongue until he nearly demanded that she take a pepper-up potion. Lauren was pretty well known back home for her stubbornness and hatred of people trying to help her in situations like this. Once when she was little, she had scraped her knee by falling down a small ledge near the creek. Melanie had found her, scolded her, then tried to help her...Well, to say the least, it wasn't very pretty.

"First of all," Began Lauren in a sharp, cold voice, "I wasn't committing suicide. Second of all, I would not have died. You see, there's this little ability I have called velimency." It was mostly true, though if it had been about fifty degrees colder, she might have died. As it was, she would have blacked out and her unconsciousness would give over to her velimency, which would block out the cold and allow her to wake up. Then again, perhaps because of all the other things her velimency was occupied with....But no, she wouldn't think of that. Maybe tomorrow she would.

She slipped her legs off the other side of the bed decisively and stood up. Her hand felt for her wand in the pile of clothes, which also contained her jacket. With a quick flick, her hair was dry and perfectly smooth again. "You try having to hold in the fact that your presence is hurting everyone you love and care about. You try having to see those people's thoughts and emotions while you're hurting them. Try that, then tell me I can't hold everything in forever. Because I will if it means that none of them are hurt by me anymore than they already have been."

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Tradger Thomas
Administrator

Rebellion Member

Gryffindor Hottie

The Queen of Account NotesI LOVE DRAKEY MORE!!!!!!!
Metamorphagus[M:0]
member is offline

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"Loneliness is about the scariest thing there is."-Tradger Thomas

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,560
Location: In your bed
Karma: 9

Re: One is the Loneliest Number... (Open)
« Reply #7 on Oct 30, 2008, 7:58pm »

Tradger didn’t look to have even heard the things Lauren had said. He had faded into that faint frown and creased brow that often showed that he was deep in thought. However, his expression didn’t betray what he was thinking. Tradger had always been rather good at that. When his hair color and eye color betrayed his emotions he at least tried not to let his expression show his thoughts. At the moment, Tradger’s hair was somewhere at a slight gray color. It was a conflicting color. It often faded slowly from black to gray when he was arguing with himself in his head.

After a while of silence, Tradger glanced up at Lauren with practically blank eyes. But perhaps they weren’t so blank. In them there was hurt, confusion, anger, and probably a whole mess of other emotions that were troubling Tradger. Why hadn’t they spoken ever since they had kissed in the Head’s dorms? Why was Lauren avoiding him like someone had pelted him with a dozen dung bombs? It was frustrating never knowing anything about what Lauren was thinking or what her intentions were.

Tradger stood, grabbed his now almost soaking wet jacket and with a mumbled spell dried it off. He slipped it on over his arms and ran a hand through his longer hair. He looked at Lauren for a second longer and then turned and left without another word. She was fine, so why should he worry right? He opened the door leading back out to the corridor and slammed it behind him and at a quick pace walked back towards the Head’s Common room.

Unaware of it, Tradger began at a jog. He really just wanted to lie down in his bed and sleep for two days. And so, when he reached his dorm room that is exactly what he did. Tradger collapsed onto the bed without even changing clothes and fell into a deep sleep, curled up into a warm ball so he could no longer be troubled by his waking thoughts.

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